I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
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I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
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literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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