thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
