Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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