you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
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