apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
