Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
