His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Randomize