Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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