no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
