No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
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He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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