Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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