clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
The 33 Worst Things Men Have Said While Hitting On Women
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!