Texts From Last Night

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  (317): View more from Indiana

  I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people

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  (317): I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people http://tfl.nu/qth2
  Replies (34) Good night (6845) Bad night (1081)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.

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  (563): The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward. http://tfl.nu/35be
  Replies (16) Good night (994) Bad night (4283)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.

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  (901): Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods. http://tfl.nu/16un
  Replies (26) Good night (4123) Bad night (681)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!

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  (732): wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative! http://tfl.nu/b5c4
  Replies (67) Good night (6996) Bad night (1129)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog

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  (908): you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog http://tfl.nu/njtd
  Replies (6) Good night (1375) Bad night (3116)
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  (714): View more from California

  I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious

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  (714): I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious http://tfl.nu/8hxf
  Replies (22) Good night (7234) Bad night (1198)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..

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  (708): He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam.. http://tfl.nu/opqs
  Replies (30) Good night (3470) Bad night (2306)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?

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  (404): He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair? http://tfl.nu/ho1p
  Replies (20) Good night (1118) Bad night (2752)
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  (718): View more from New York

  Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.

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  (718): Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me. http://tfl.nu/u7k0
  Replies (7) Good night (1633) Bad night (687)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.

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  (703): See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians. http://tfl.nu/t1a5
  Replies (8) Good night (2207) Bad night (1286)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.

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  (908): He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS. http://tfl.nu/gbcc
  Replies (16) Good night (1866) Bad night (769)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.

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  (972): I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break. http://tfl.nu/fgur
  Replies (13) Good night (2113) Bad night (658)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.

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  (404): I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight. (843): Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back? (404): I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me. http://tfl.nu/tm5b
  Replies (2) Good night (482) Bad night (708)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world

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  (574): Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world http://tfl.nu/cii5
  Replies (6) Good night (545) Bad night (336)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?

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  (508): Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know? http://tfl.nu/3epo
  Replies (1) Good night (132) Bad night (311)

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