Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight