He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
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Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
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Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.