He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
