I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.