ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
