we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize