mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
