She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
