I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
