I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
