If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
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In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
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I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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