Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
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My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
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she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize