tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
