I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
