did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
