my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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