worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
