u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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