The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize