Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize