yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
