Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
