MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize