Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
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I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
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Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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