so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
