She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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