chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
