Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Your cock deserves a montage
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
