he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
