I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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