yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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