At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
