I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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