we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
