my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize