I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize