He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Randomize
