I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
