I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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