Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
