My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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