Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
it's not cheating when I paid for it
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
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