Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
