I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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