i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
