Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize