my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize