Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
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