we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
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