We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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