he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
