I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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