i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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