I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
My dick has a subreddit
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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